What do I do if I feel far from God?
It’s a place that we don’t want to be, but inevitably where all of us find ourselves: far from God. Just like most things, though, sadly, it’s nothing new to God. Since the beginning of time, God has had to see his people distance themselves from him. But he did everything, even before we sinned, to bring us back to him (Ephesians 1:4). And we want to be near God, too, especially if we know the goodness of what that’s like! But even if we know God has done everything and our part is small, it seems so hard to know where to start to take that step closer to him. The reason may not be the same for most of us, but there are a few common ones: we just don’t trust him, we feel guilt and shame, or we feel indifferent. Thankfully for us, we aren’t the first to struggle with any of these and we are able to see what to do from others' journeys, from Naomi to David to the church in Laodicea. So how did they get far from God, but more importantly, what was the answer for them to grow closer to God?
When you don’t trust someone, it’s hard to want to be around them. Naomi seems to have felt the same way. In Ruth, the first chapter starts with a strong family: a husband and wife, two sons and two daughters-in-law. But at the end of the chapter, Naomi (the only dependent one in the family as a woman) was left with all three of her would-be providers dead. And when she goes home to Bethlehem, she lets her friends know: I am not pleasant (meaning of “Naomi”), I am bitter (meaning of “Mara,” what she wanted to change her name to) because she thought God had dealt bitterly with her (Ruth 1:20). She changed the whole of who she was based on that. She had a hard time trusting him. But she still returned to her people, along with Ruth, to be with those who were following God (not staying in Moab).
Being far away from God because of mistrust happens often. It may be death or hardship or anything that has brought you to feel let down by God. But know that he hasn’t abandoned you. We know the end of our story if we remain faithful: that we get to be with God where there will be no more tears, death, crying or pain forever, no matter what we go through here on earth (Revelation 21:4).
For Naomi, it seems that for a while, all she could do was take it one day at a time. But through it all, God still worked through her to bring Ruth to Bethlehem, who was able to know God and, with Boaz, parented the grandfather of King David (chapter 4). And Naomi herself was surrounded by those who praised God for giving her a provider and for “your daughter-in-law who loves you, who is more to you than seven sons“ (Ruth 4:14-15)!
We never know what God can do with our lives, for us and for others. So in the moments when we feel far from him because of distrust, it hasn’t changed the fact that he is still able to do more than we can imagine (Ephesians 3:20) and that he is the only one worth sticking with. Even if all we have right now is bitterness, if we remain faithful and take it a little at a time, God is able to change us from “mara” and bring us near to him.
Guilt and shame because of sin are very powerful. And they can also make us feel very far away from God. Guilt is carrying the fact that we knew good from evil and but had fallen for evil again, bringing shame. But knowing that we have done something wrong and staying stuck there can be a terrible place to stay.
When David committed murder and adultery (2 Samuel 11), he was in the denial phase for a while until God spoke through Nathan and David realized his guilt (2 Samuel 12). That’s when he wrote Psalm 51. It’s a heartbreaking psalm of someone who has seen the disgusting sin that he’s given into and now feels the weight of it. David then tells God, “My sin is ever before me” and “Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is wrong in your sight” (v. 3-4). Just like all sin, his crime was against God and he knew it. He struggled, seeing the sin that he did and knew he could do nothing with it. So he pleaded with God: “wash me… cleanse me… purge me… create in me clean heart… cast me not away from your presence… restore to me the joy of my salvation…” (v. 2, 7, 10-12). He sought God. And then he gave it to God.
Knowing our guilt is important, but staying in it is robs us from the new life Jesus died to give us. Satan would like nothing more than for us to stay in shame, because it’s still his territory. But God has called us out from that. He did everything to give us a different story, one where we have mercy and love and get to live for God (Ephesians 2:1-10). He has freed us (Galatians 5:1).
It doesn’t mean there may not be consequences for the sins we’ve done, as David found through the death of his child later in that same chapter (2 Samuel 12) and more (2 Samuel 13). But through it all, David knew that it was better to be closer to God. We are able to have a healed relationship with God because of his mercy and grace. He listened and washed us, cleansed us, and purged us from what we did. And because of that, we are not kept far away in guilt and shame, but we can instead teach others his way and declare God as fully worthy of praise (Psalm 51:13-15), becoming his workmanship, created in Christ for good in works (Ephesians 2:10).
And sometimes, we’re just indifferent. This can be scarier than the other reasons that make us far from God because it’s almost unrecognizable. When we look at our lives, we’re not really doing anything bad. But if we look closer, we realize Satan has slowly lured us away from God by adding so many empty things that fill up each day. And before we know it, we’re nowhere near God, we don’t have room for him, and we don’t feel the need to grow closer to him. So Satan’s mission is accomplished as we drift further and further from God.
When God speaks to the church who are in Laodicea (Revelation 3), he tells them they are lukewarm. They’re not hot, they’re not cold - they’re just… existing. And being lukewarm is something God does not tolerate. They thought they were rich and prosperous while God is telling them they are actually wretched, naked, and to be pitied (v. 17)! Because they were not seeking God.
For the Christians in Laodicea and for us as Christians today, who we are is the same: we are Christ-followers and our lives should reflect that, inside and out. Every day should be an attempt to be closer to God, even if it’s a small step. Otherwise, we drift.
So to those of us who feel far away from God because we are lukewarm and indifferent like the Laodiceans, this is what God continues to say in Revelation 3: it may be a journey to get back to God, but it’s worth it. There might be discipline (Hebrews 12:7-11), but it’s because God loves us and wants us to live lives of zeal where we have purpose and pursue him with everything we have— which is the opposite of lukewarm (v. 19)! We can be truly rich when we seek the best (like refined gold) in Christ and truly clothed with white garments that he gives us (v. 18). He will come and eat with us and, through him, we will be able to conquer and sit on his throne with him (v. 20-21).
This is the life God has promised us. Jesus didn’t come to die so his promise could sit on a dusty shelf. If we claim to be Christ-followers, then we are determined to seek God over anything else. We are zealous for him and nowhere near lukewarm. That’s our end goal. And just like every journey, it’s one step at a time.
So no matter where you’re at, whether it’s mistrust, guilt and shame, or just lukewarmness, at some point or another in our lives, we have all been far from God. He has seen it time and time again. But he hasn’t left us to figure out how to get back to him on our own. He has done everything possible so we can draw near to him and he can draw near to us (James 4:8). And so together, we remove all barriers, one step at at time, and grow closer and closer to the one who loves us more than anyone else ever could.
